I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
