never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
