Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Randomize
