I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
