i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
