As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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