the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
