He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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