thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she looked like the before picture.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
