I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
