Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
