he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
only if we run a train.
done.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
