I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
