I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
