I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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