Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
