weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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