On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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