You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
