No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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