Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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