I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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