with your own penis?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
