a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
