he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
