Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
