i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
