The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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