i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Green mimosas i think yes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
