I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
