Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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