even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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