ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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