Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
did i just pee glitter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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