Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
