SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
