somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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