everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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