I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
