I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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