My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Panties = found
Randomize
