Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
