I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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