We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
