i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
