I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
