Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
