I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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