She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
this hospital has no fireball
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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