I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
