Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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