I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
