So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
