Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
