My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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