So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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